End of Civvie. Start of Army/

4 hours from enlisting.

Today, I will start serving my country. All I know is that I'll do my best.
Part of me is excited. Can't wait to face the challenges. Can't wait to learn and train to be a soldier. Yet, another part of me is scared that I'll screw up and be less than the man I think I am or hope to be.

I'll stand by my values. Honour, Courage, Responsibility and Loyalty.
As long as I adhere to these principles, I can't fail.

So help me God.

I gave my body more punishment today than the entire Jan and Feb combined. I think I did about a 100 push ups or more today.Pretty little I know. But still at least I tried. As I will in NS.

I've decided. I want to be a Guardsman. Army Guards. The Khaki Berets. The Chopper troops. I've decided. If I'm going to fight. I want to fight with the best. After Commandos, Guards are the elite.

I used to think I want to join the Infantry. But I guess I rather be a Guardsman and get to go offense and kick ass than sit on my ass and get kicked. The Infantry I hear always get their asses kicked by the Guards. Armour or Arty wouldn't be too bad I suppose. At least they're specialised and get to play with the big toys.

I watched a video on MINDEF website about the 1st 100 days in NS. I felt pretty patriotic after watching it. Its really good propaganda. But I do believe in what LKY said. "If you who are growing up do not understand that we've got to defend Singapore. In the end I say we lose."

I do believe I'm serving my country. Not wasting 2 years of my life.
I do believe I'll do my best. Not go in there to chao keng.
I do believe I'll make a good soldier. Not a slacker.
I do believe I've got what it takes to lead and to be lead.

3 more days. Gotta go get my stuff ready.

3 days left....

God... I'm feeling so freaking shitty. As far as I'm concerned. My holiday is over. I'm already in the army. I'm giving myself calisthenics everyday. I'm forcing myself to wake up early.

Got all my stuff I think. Gonna start packing up tonight. After that maybe tekan myself again. Or I ought to get Dad to do it to me. Nah. Bad Idea. I'd probably laugh.

Brandon's gone in today. TC, Sam and a few other's tmr. Dan and Elonn on the 12th. Next will be me. Hope I don't get shitbirds, non-hackers or ten-percenters in my section. Or if I do. Hope they don't get the whole section into trouble. Probably will though. Gotta do the best I can to keep me and my buddies in one piece.

3 more days. Gonna really workout. Working out later at 5pm

10 more days.

It gets kind of depressing to know the life you lead is going to take an abrupt change in several days time. Losing the freedom that now after 3 months I'm so used to. Knowing that my ass will belong to the army. Knowing I'll be jerked around for 2 years. Knowing that I'm gonna suffer physically and mentally. Strange, I was wishing I was in the army during A levels. I guess I rather be in the army still than go thru A levels again. Now that's torture.

Part of me looks forward to the army. How many War movies I've watched, Black Hawk Down, We were Soldiers, Band of Brothers and the like. All these. They don't glorify war. They just show in dramatic detail the lives of the soldiers. The heroism. The pain. The comradeship. That made me want to be soldier when I was a little boy.

Now, huh! I dunno. I'm dreading going in. But I guess its the same with everyone else. Until one's in there and the realisation sets in that there's nothing he can do about it. That's when he starts to function and adjust. I hope it doesn't take too long for me. All I know is that I just want to be a good soldier and not let my buddies and country down.

I guess Dad's code of honour and patriotism has rubbed off on me.